Hate is a Drug

Hate is a drug. It's addictive - it gives you a rush that you don't want to let go. It's a social drug - enjoying it with friends amplifies the rush and prolongs it. And like many drugs, it will alter your thinking, ruin your health, and damage relationships.

Hate is not anger. One can be angry with someone, and yet still love that person. Anger is fine, and often healthy and productive. Hate is borne of contempt, and contempt is borne of pride. One cannot hate someone if one does not feel that that someone is inferior, and one does not feel that someone is inferior without being proud.

When you're angry, let it out, express it. Make it emphasize your words and put energy to your actions. But once it subsides, let it go. Do not let anger open the door for contempt, and fan contempt into hate. Block the entry of contempt by filling the space with love. Again, you can be angry with a person and love a person at the same time. But you cannot love a person and have contempt for a person at the same time. They are mutually exclusive.

(Why am I writing about anger and hate in a blog about technopreneurship? It's because entrepreneurship will probably be the most stressful thing you'll ever do in your life, and if you go into business with your friends or family, it will take its toll on your relationships. All of you will make tough decisions where there are no clear answers, only huge consequences, and someone will inevitably feel wronged.

But decisions need to be made and made quickly, and only time will tell if these decisions were right or wrong. It's fine to be angry at these decisions and it's fine to argue passionately about them in the proper forum, but one must respect another's right to make those decisions, especially in the areas for which they are accountable.

At the end of the day, if you're angry with a coworker or business partner, let it all out in the conference room. Then leave the conference room, shut the door, and leave your anger behind.)